Cross Dresser
by LadySuperhero
Summary: Ice King wants desperately for Fionna and Cake to be in his life, and until that manages to happen he'll have to improvise. And his way of improvising involves Finn, Jake, and this little thing called cross-dressing.
1. Chapter one: Fionna and Cake?

**Author's Note: **This was just a silly idea for an episode that I imagined while watching the episode "A Glitch is a Glitch". Ice King seemed pretty desperate in making Fionna and Cake real, and would probably even go as far as to do this to see it happen. This story will most likely only be a few chapters long, since it's an "episode", like three chapters at the least. So until then I hope you enjoy it!

Sorry that this is short, all of the chapters will be at least one thousand words in length.

I do not own Adventure Time!

* * *

_**~***Cross Dresser***~**_

* * *

Finn groaned as he rolled over, feeling something tickle the side of his face as he did. "Dang it Jake..." He mumbled, "I already told you man, Meat Man can't hurt you. Get back in your own bed..." He said as he slightly cracked open his eyes, only for them to fall shut once again.

He noticed that his bed felt oddly... _colder _than normal, as if he were laying on a block of ice. His arms and legs felt a little cold also, it was at that moment he realized he wasn't in his fuzzy pajamas! He remembered falling asleep with them on, this realization made his eyes snap back open and he sat up.

Taking in his surroundings, he saw that he wasn't in his room at the Tree Dome. He was in Ice Kingdom, at Ice King's lair. "What the hay-hay!" He exclaimed, confused. Then felt the tickling on his face again, seeing something yellow next to his face. He yanked at it, then winced. It was his hair, hanging from out of his hat. Why was that?

He looked around for Jake, wondering if he was here alone. "Jake?" He called, "You in here buddy?" He heard a muffle and turned around, "Is that you Jake? Where are you?!"

"Over here..." Jake said, sitting up from the pile of clothes he way laying in. Some of them falling off of him as he did. "What time is it?" He asked as he yawn and stretched, then Finn gasped in shock at the sight of him.

"Jake, what the _plop _happened to you?!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms up in surprise.

"Huh?" Jake responded, confused, then looked down at himself. His eyes slowly widened, then he let out yell as he gazed at his fur. All but his legs, and an arm, were messily painted white. He jumped up and began to stuttered. "How did- what- what the glob man?!"

Finn ran over to Jake and put a hand on one of the cardboard cat ears, also painted badly, that were glued to the top of his head. "Dude, you look like a _cat_!"

"And you look like a girl! You're in a skirt dude!" Jake exclaimed, pointing at the young adventurer. Finn raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself, letting out a shriek. He _was _in a skirt, and thigh high socks with Mary-Janes. "And what happened to your hat?"

Finn felt the top of his hat, the ears felt longer. "How did we even _get _here man?!" He asked, tired of being so confused.

"Oh, that's easy!" They heard a new voice say, turning to where it came from; they saw the Ice King walk in. "I brought you chums here last night," He said, then put his hands on his cheeks. "While you were sleeping."

"Wha- _Why _would you do that?!" Finn asked.

"Yeah!" Jake exclaimed, walking up to stand next to Finn. "And what the hell's with all of this?!" He said as he pointed at them both.

"Another easy one!" Ice King said, pointing back. "You two are Fionna and Cake!"

"What does that even mean?!" Jake asked.

Ice King sighed, "_Look_, Fionna and Cake are trapped in another dimension somewhere. And until I can find a way to get them out, you two'll have to fill in for them and be my best bros. That simple enough for you?"

Finn and Jake looked at one another, then back at Ice King. "You mean those characters from your dumb fanfiction?!" Jake asked.

"The characters that aren't _real_?!" Finn questioned.

" My fanfiction is _not _dumb! And they're real as long as _you're _real!" Ice King snapped, in a slight rage. Then calmed down very quickly.

"You're _insane_ Simon!" Finn yelled, "And- wait, you kidnapped us while we were asleep? Who _does_ that?!" He said, just remembering Ice Kings earlier words.

"I does that," He said, pointing at himself. "And don't yell at me like that, Fionna would never raise her voice at me! She loves me a bunch." He said, crossing his arms.

"I'm _not _Fionna, I'm not even a girl dude!" Finn sighed.

"You are as long as _I say_ you are," He said, then looked at Jake. "And fluff out your tail Cake, it's all flat and unattractive!"

"What?" Jake said, then stretched his tail around to look at it. Seeing a white fur tail, with a painted golden tip, glued to his own. "Man you've gotta be kidding me!" He said, trying to pull it off. But to no eval, the glue was dry and matted into his own fur. "What is this even made out of?"

Ice King covered his mouth, to stifle a laugh. "It's left over beard hair, from when I shaved it all off that one time. You remember? Huh Cake? You remember when that happened, Cake?"

"_Yes,_" He replied, dropping his "tail" with disgust. "And don't call me Cake!"

"Cake doesn't talk like that, she's got like a disco queen accent or something. You gotta say it more like this." Ice King clear his throat, then placed his hands on his hips and batted his eyelashes. "And don't call me Cake, sucka!" He said, rolling his neck, in a way he imagined Cake would. "See? Now you do it."

"No!" He exclaimed, then Ice King glared.

"Do it or I'll freeze you to death!" He shouted aggressively, his hands crackling as he charged an ice attack. Jake's eyes widened, then drooped as he sighed.

"Uhhh..." He trailed, then put his hands on his hips like Ice King did. "And don't call me Cake, sucka!" He repeated, making the same head movement. Ice King smiled then jumped up and down in happiness.

"Oh that's much better!" He said then glared at Finn, "But _you _gotta fix that attitude of yours missy! Now wait right here, I'll be right back!" He said, then ran into the other room.

As soon as he did, Jake attempted to pull off his cat ears while Finn took off his rabbit hat and pushed his hair back. "Jake, the Ice King has gone _wonkers_!"

The "ears" slipped from Jake's grasp and made him fall back onto the ground, "Ouch..." He sat up and rubbed his head, "Ice King was _already_ wonkers, man."

"Yeah, but never _this _wonk! This is just insane dude, more than normal! Who _knows_ how long he's gonna try and keep us here!" He exclaimed.

Jake put a hand on his chin, "You know what? You've got a point, I never thought of it that way."

"Of course I do!" Finn said, "We need to get out of here before he comes back!"

"Well why are we still standing here?" Jake asked, "Let's-"

"Oohhh, look who it is!" Ice King said as he walked back into the room, both of his hands behind his back. "Prince Gumball and Lord Monochromicorn!" He said, taking his hands from behind his back, with two sock puppets of Gumball and Lord on each hand. "Hope you're hungry, I've got a Mac n' Cheese in the oven."

Finn and Jake back away from Ice King a little, then gave each other a worried glance. They hoped they wouldn't be here too long.


	2. Chapter two: Their Savior

**Author's Note: **Wow, lol I never expected to get so many reviews just on one chapter! I'm glad that you guys got such a kick out of the last one, I hope you like this one just as much if not more. Thank you to everyone who favorited/followed and reviewed, you're the best!

**Replies to guest reviewers:**

**Guest: **Lol seriously? You know that probably would've been funnier, _but _that would interfere with what I had planned. Ah well, thank you!

**Hi: **I believe he'd do something like this to lol, it's _so _Ice King! The slang is the most important part, that's what makes it Adventure Time. Thank you, I'm surprised this hasn't already been thought of by Pendleton to.

* * *

_**~***Cross Dresser***~**_

* * *

**-Five days later-**

"So, what do you girls wanna do first?" Ice King asked, and the two heroes sighed. They'd just finished their Mac n' Cheese breakfast, and Ice King most likely had a lot of weird activities planned. For the past five days he had Finn and Jake 'adventuring' with him all around Ice Kingdom, pretending that the penguins and snowmen were villains for them to slay. It was tiring, at least for Finn and Jake. But the weirdest part of it all, would definitely be how Ice King would make Finn (or Fionna he supposed) tell him all of the things he thought were 'hot' about him.

"Is 'nothing' an option?" Finn asked, and Ice King shook his head.

"Oh don't be silly Fionna," He waved off, "And put your hat back on! I'm lovin' your hair but _yeesh_, you know how many rabbits I had to skin to make that?" Finn groaned, slipping the hat onto his head. Making sure he left out some of his golden locks. "Good, good." Ice King nodded, then turned to Jake. "Well what about you Cake? what do you wanna do?"

"Go home..." Jake trailed, turning onto his stomach with a moan.

Ice King laughed, "Oh you sure are a card Cake, that's what I really like about you." He tapped his chin with his hand, in thought. "Hmmm... how about... would you like to see your boyfriend?"

"Man he's not my boyfriend!" Jake exclaimed, turning around and sitting up. "He's a sock puppet, and he's not even _real_!" Ice King blinked then smiled.

"Oh wait, don't tell me!" He said, then put a hand over his mouth. "You two broke up, didn't you?"

Jake's eyes widened, then he opened his mouth to retort something. But then Finn slapped a hand over his mouth and smiled at Ice King. "Uh, yeah they did! Uhh... maybe if you can get him here, they can make up?"

The wizard stared at Finn for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "That's a great idea Fionna! But it might not be easy." He whistled, "It's been a few days since I saw him, but I'll try!" He said with determination, then ran into the other room.

Jake slapped Finn's hand away from his mouth, and stood up. "I can't _take _this anymore! We've been here, eating Mac n' Cheese, for _five _days Finn! _Five days_!" Jake shouted, officially fed up. "I mean, how come no one's come looking for us yet?! What about Beemo?! He hasn't noticed that we're missing?!"

* * *

At the Tree Dome, Beemo stood in front of the bathroom mirror. Speaking to his female persona, Football. He sighed, "They have been gone _forever _Football, you do not think they left me here on purpose... do you?" He asked, then 'Football' shook her head.

"Oh, of course not Beemo! You are too amazingly awesome for that! Ask yourself, why would they leave for so long and not take you? Think with your head!" She said, and Beemo thought. Then slumped onto the sink in defeat.

"I do not know..."

"How? It is so _obvious_!" Football exclaimed, giggling. "They left to get you presents, to show how much they love you!" This made him perk up.

"Really?!" Beemo asked, putting both his palms onto the mirror. Football making the same action.

"Yeah, really! They know how much you love stuff, silly!" She said, then Beemo smiled wider. Hoping off of the sink, he trotted into the front room. Singing a tune to himself.

"Presents! I love presents! And... presents love _me_!" He sang, then balloons appeared onto his face screen. "Presents, give me presents! Because _ev-ery-one _loves Beemo!"He finished, the balloons on his monitor exploading into confetti and rainbows.

* * *

Finn stood up, holding up his hands. "Woah, calm down bro-ham. I get it, I've been here for five days eating Mac n' Cheese to. But we can't do _anything_ about it if we stay here and complain." He said, then punched his open palm. "What we need to do, is to formulate a game plan."

Jake sighed, calming himself. "Yeah, yeah I guess you're right. Sorry for flying off the handle like that, I just don't know if I can take being here for another day."

Finn nodded, and placed his hand on Jake's snout. "I understand, no let's brainstorm. Ice King could be back any second." He said, then strained his face. "Time... is of the _essence_."

Jake gave him an odd look, then slowly nodded. "Yeah, sure." They both got into the 'Thinker' position and began to think. After a few seconds, Finn spoke.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"... You think of anything yet?"

"... No..."

"Oh... me neither..."

They were both quiet, then suddenly Jake spoke. "We're gonna die here man!" He shout, then Finn slapped his hand over his mouth, Jake's shouts turning into muffles.

"Jake, we are _not _gonna die here! C'mon dude, we're _better_ than that." He said, releasing him. "Besides, even if we can't find our own way out, someone's bound to come searching for us soon."

Jake wanted to believe him, but it's been nearly a week. No one seemed to notice that they were gone, their best hope would be for Ice King to let them go on his own. But that was something that would clearly not be happening anytime soon.

It was then that they heard a laugh, almost a sort of cackle, and when they turned their attention to the noise they saw none other than their friend. Marceline the Vampire Queen.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I thought the bit with Beemo would be a nice touch, plus he's my favorite!


	3. Chapter three: Please help!

**Author's Note: **The story is almost finished, the next chapter will be the last. Thank you for reading!

**Replies to Guest reviewers:**

**Italy10: **I'm glad you love it, and I know right? Ice King is seriously something else, he'd totally do this!

**Guest: **Thank you, it gets better (I hope). Here's some more, enjoy!

* * *

**~***_Cross Dresser_***~**

* * *

Marceline held her stomach, hunched over as she laughed, tears pricking her eyes as she looked at the sight in front of her. Finn and Jake, she wondered what was going on.

"Marceline!" They both shouted, running over to the vampire and trapping her in a hug.

"Man are we glad to see you!" Jake said, letting go.

"You _gotta _get us out of here!" Finn exclaimed, turning around to check if the Ice King was coming. Then he thought of something, "Wait," He turned back to Marceline, "What are you doing here, Marcy?"

"I visit Ice King on the regular," She answered, "What are _you _guys doing here, and what the junk is with that lame get up?"

"_We_ barely even know," Jake said, "We woke up here and Ice King started talkin' crazy, calling us 'Fionna and Cake'. Making us live out his weirdo fantasies, that guy's nuts."

"Hmmm..." Marceline hummed, she remembered Fionna and Cake. Last time she was here he was telling a bunch of caged up Princesses a story like that, then she took over. "Ohhh okay, I think I might understand what's going on here,"

"So you can help us?" Finn questioned, then Marceline thought about it for a second. She nodded, "Yeah, I guess I'll help you bozos out." She said, then they repeatedly thanked her. "But you're gonna owe me."

"Fine, whatever!" Jake exclaimed.

"Just as long as you help us out!" Finn said. Marceline was going to speak again, but then stopped when she saw Ice King enter the room.

"Oh! Hey Marceline!" He said, waving at her. With the hand that hand the Lord Monochromicorn puppet on it, "What are you doing here?" He asked, "You want to join in on the fun to?"

"Actually-"

"Oh great! I was gonna need a Marshall Lee soon anyway, and I've only got two hands you know. And not a lot of socks eith-"

"Simon, please." Marceline said, cutting him off. "I was only dropping by, but I just remembered that I've got this thing." She glanced over to Finn and Jake "Sooo... I'll be back later"

"Hurry," Jake whispered, and she gave a small nod.

"Oh alright," Ice King nodded, "Marshall can wait until later to then, in the mean time _these _two can make up." He said, pushing the Lord sock into Jake's face. Making kissing sounds.

Jake sniffed it, then pushed it away while plugging up his nose. "Man that's stank! When was the last time you washed that?!"

"True love doesn't care about smells!" He said, pushing the sock more. Marceline quickly left the Ice Castle and flew on her way to Candy Kingdom, to the only person she could think of for help.

* * *

Princess Bubblegum moved around her lab, gathering all of the materials that she would need for her experiment. She put them all near the table that Cinnamon Bun was strapped to, then poured a lime green serum into a syringe.

"Okay, Cinnamon Bun." She said, plucking the syringe then sticking it into his arm. "I'm injecting you with my prototype 'Candy strength' serum." She pulled it out of his arm, then sat it to the side. "If my calculations are correct, it should fuse with your bio-molecular candy matrix and give you a stronger endurance to any physical damage."

She took a hammer, and whacked Cinnamon Bun on his leg. Making him laugh, "That tickled!" He said, then she pulled out her clipboard and jotted some things down. He looked like he was alright.

"Okay... so far so good. It appears that it's beginning to take affect, so lets move on to the next part of the test." She sat down her clipboard and put on a welding mask, then turned on an electrical device.

"I'm going to see if your new endurance can withstand the sensation of one-hundred watts of pure electricity." She said, grabbing two metal rods and messing with the electric current that moved between them.

"Uhhh... huh?" Cinnamon Bun asked, clearly confused. Princess Bubblegum sighed.

"I'm gonna shock you, then see what happens." She said, then he only stared.

"... What?" Sometimes the Princess wondered if he did stuff like this on purpose, just to get on her nerves.

"Just hold still Cinnamon Bun!" She snapped, and he nodded.

"Okay!" He said, then she brought the rods closer to him.

"Now I won't lie to you, this is going to hurt. **_A_ _lot_**." She admitted, and at that very moment Marceline entered the lab.

"What up, Preebos?" She said, and Princess Bubblegum shut off the machine and removed her mask. Giving Marceline a smile.

"Oh, hello Marceline. What's up?" She asked, and Marceline floated over to her.

"I'm gonna need your help with something," She said, the PB nodded. Princess Bubblegum unstrapped Cinnamon Bun from the table, and he hopped down.

"We'll have to pick the up again later Cinnamon Bun," She said, but he didn't seem like he was listening. He only trotted off to another part of the lab, making Princess Bubblegum sigh and roll her eyes. "What is it?" She asked, turning her attention back to Marceline.

"Ice Kings holding Finn and Jake hostage at his place, they asked me to help them and I just figured you'd know what to do." She explained, and Princess Bubblegum nodded.

"You don't say," She said, "Well, why _exactly _is Ice King holding them 'hostage'?" Marceline shrugged.

"He's pretending they're some story book characters, it's... _pretty _weird." She said, and it was weird. So weird that it made Princess Bubblegum, and Marceline alike, wonder what exactly it was that they should do about that.


End file.
